In 2004, part of my childhood died. Such an inspiring opening… I was furious at the decision made to take Robot Wars off the air. Robot Wars was bordering on ‘unhealthy obsession’ ten years ago. All my pocket money was spent on the pullback replica robots; I watched the show live twice and fully decorated my room with yellow and black warning stripes and posters. Robot Wars was a huge part of my life. What hasn’t changed is that it still is… 
Every Friday evening was the same. BBC Two would go on at six in the evening for The Simpsons. That was followed by fifteen minutes of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air and was finally topped off by three-quarters of an hour of recycled appliances with minds of their own go at each other with ferocity of force 9 hurricane. The house robots Sergeant Bash, Matilda, Shunt, Sir Killalot, Dead Metal, Mr Psycho and Growler would patrol the battle arena as homemade robots tore each other to bits. It was superb, bloodthirsty, relentless and fantastic! I remember watching Hypno-Disc – A shiny machine with a huge flywheel – annihilate the weak armour of the lesser Stealth. I remember Chaos 2 effortlessly throw competitors around and out of the arena with its powerful flipper. I remember the elegant Razer finish off Bigger Brother in the series 5 final. Then after 6 Championships, 2 series of Extreme, various special events and World Championships, the BBC sold the rights to Channel 5. This was not a wise move. It was still Robot Wars been but the majority of the bigger names had gone, Phillipa Forrester had been replaced by Jayne Middlemiss and some of the finesse seemed to have been lost. But, it kept me happy. Jonathan Pierce still commentated on the brutalities with glee and Craig Charles still fronted the show; a new house robot had been included in the roster – Cassius Chrome – and it now ran for an hour. And then it didn’t. After one series on Channel 5, it was cancelled. Don’t think this is a nostalgic post about how much I miss Robot Wars because it isn’t. Robot Wars is still alive, kicking and screaming and last month, I got the chance to go see and relive the robo-carnage all over again! 
The rights to Robot Wars lie within Roaming Robots – a company that is responsible for putting on live shows and workshops for the general public. Bluewater’s Glow was big enough for the new arena. All the hazards were there; the pit, the floor flipper, flames and a new, bespoke house robot – Major Damage. It retained all of its appeal. This was proper Robot Wars with and underground edge. It did not disappoint.
Let the wars begin…
The auditorium was full and the lights dimmed when the countdown reached 00:00:00; the arena was set for the opening exhibition battle; the robots were waiting. The famous “3… 2… 1… ACTIVATE” bellowed out of the sound system and the warriors attacked. There was no holding back as robots flew through air, smashing and crashing into one another. Flames rose out of the floor and the audience cheered as metal slammed against metal. It was exactly how I remembered. These competitors were as persistent as ever; fighting back, unaffected by their short fly or harsh crash. 3 minutes on “CEASE” was called and the calm returned.
Don’t mention the words ‘Wheely, Big or Cheese’ near Axe Awe…
The show featured an array of battles from the heavyweights which included Eruption with a stupidly powerful pneumatic flipper; the unique double flippers of Maelstrom; the sword wielding Saint and the German Luzifer. Not only that but previous all-stars Behemoth and fellow Lincolner, Stinger graced the arena to show their power and prowess to prove that they are still as destructive as they ever were made me smile. A melee of featherweights then entered the arena with a replica of the original Matilda. Watching tiny robots destroy each other with the savagery of the big boys was just as entertaining. It was a thoroughly enjoyable experience. I felt like a kid again; like Robot Wars had never gone. There was an air of pantomime behind it all that made it feel more engaging and the two presenters did a fantastic job of warming up the audience for every battle. Shouting ‘eezzay, eezzay, eezzay’ across the auditorium to the other half of the crowd every time our side won a battle was just good fun, just like what it was when I was part of the audience when it was being filmed. Having R2D2 come out in the interval was a nice surprise too although, having R2D2 fight Major Damage would have been a better surprise, but that’s just me.
Major Damage eats Pepper Pigs for breakfast
It was immense fun and for £16 a standard ticket (or £26 for a VIP ticket which includes a tour of the pits and the arena), a cheap thrill too. I have missed Robot Wars a lot since it was cancelled (to the point of being unable to function in day-to-day life) but what these people do setting up events that travel the country and the globe is not only phenomenal but inspiring and exciting all at once. Seeing people in the audience who had grown up with Robot Wars was fulfilling. Every seat in the house was sold that night. This shows that robot combat is a popular as ever and having the event organiser come out and asking whether we wanted the show back on TV to hear the tremendous chorus of yells and screams in agreement makes me believe that one day, Robot Wars will return. Maybe not the same as what it was but as long as there are people building these machines, there will always be people there to watch them wreck it up.
Words can’t describe how overjoyed I was to see Stinger alive and fighting
I have no doubt that there is something for everyone. There’s just something about watching things get demolished; it’s the main reason why demolition derbies are so popular. This ticks all the boxes; it’s entertaining, it’s cheap, it brings in the crowds and it gives you that bit of nostalgia from the late 90’s and early 00’s that I and a lot of people miss. Robot Wars never went. But, in whatever form, I’m glad to see it is not disappearing without a fight – it seems it’s here to stay CEASE Words by Jimmi
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